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| WORDS OF WISDOM AND INTOXICATION |
| IF YOU FAIL TO PREPARE YOU PREPARE TO FAIL |
| HEY !!!! HEY !!!! WHAT THE FUCK. ALL THE BEER IS GONE. NOW WHAT. |
| WE TOASTED THE IRISH WE TOASTED OUR FRIEDNS WE TOASTED ALL NIGHT LONG WE SANG AND WE DRANK WITH FRIENDS NEW AND OLD WE DRANK TIL THE BEER WAS GONE |
| THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM PERU WHO ALWAYS HAD SOMEONE TO SCREW UNTIL HIS LAST VICTIM HAULED OFF AND KICKED HIM AND TURNED HIS JUNK BLACK AND BLUE |
| HEY EDITH GET ME BEER HUH |
| SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. THEY'RE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. |
| You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. |
| If you suffer from high blood pressure: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. |
| GOOD THING HE DIDN'T HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN. CAN YOU IMAGINE |
| THAT'S SOME CRAZY SHIT RIGHT THERE. |
| YOU WOULD HAVE TO SMOKE ABOUT that much GOOD WEED TO GET OVER SEEING that many little clinton's IN REAL LIFE. |
| THE KID IN THE BOTTOM ROW MIDDLE LOOKS A LITTLE LIKE GENE WILDER |
| If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. |
| WHEN HIKING WITH YOUR FRIENDS IN THE WOODS AND YOU ENCOUNTER A BEAR REMEMBER THIS YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ABLE TO OUTRUN THE BEAR, YOU JUST HAVE TO RUN FASTER THAN YOUR FRIENDS |